It’s natural for people to form opinions about others. Often, we rely on quick impressions or single moments to define someone’s character, particularly when a person has passed away. But it’s crucial to resist the temptation to reduce someone to just their best or worst qualities. Human beings are far more complex, and our lives can’t be distilled into a single narrative, especially one based on a fleeting moment. It is important to point out, however, that this article is not meant to condone or excuse extreme behaviors that cause harm or trauma. Acts of violence, abuse, and unkindness that fall under radical or unacceptable behavior should never be dismissed as mere moments of human imperfection. Those behaviors must be addressed separately with serious consequences and cannot be justified as part of the natural complexities of human nature. This article is about the day-to-day nuances of judgment and perception that affect our relationships and how we see one another, not the extreme, destructive behaviors that go beyond forgiveness without accountability.
When reflecting on someone’s life, it’s common to focus on their positive traits after they’re gone. But just as often, negative qualities or mistakes tend to linger in memory — especially if they were tied to moments of anger, hurt, or conflict. In these cases, it becomes harder to see the good that person might have brought into the world. This tendency to judge someone by a single action or reaction is not only unfair, but it also prevents us from seeing the whole person. We all have moments where we react poorly or act out of frustration, yet those shouldn’t define us for the rest of our lives.
In life, we are all multifaceted. None of us is exempt from making mistakes. It’s important to remember that these moments of error or anger often arise from complex emotions or circumstances. Many times, they are not representative of someone’s true nature. As humans, we are prone to emotional outbursts, lapses in judgment, or actions we later regret. How many of us can honestly say we’ve never had a moment where we’ve reacted in a way we wish we could take back? These moments are part of our shared humanity, and they are opportunities for growth — rarely lifelong condemnation. Before rushing to criticize or judge someone based on limited knowledge or a singular moment, it is essential to pause and reflect: “What am I really judging here, and who am I blaming for what? How might my perceptions be clouded by my own biases or incomplete understanding? Furthermore, who might be forming similar judgments about me? What are my blind spots?”
Acting has been a profound tool in revealing this complexity of human nature. As an actor, and particularly in lead roles, you are tasked with portraying a character in their entirety, not just their most appealing or reprehensible qualities. You must understand and convey their joy, anger, insecurities, and strengths — sometimes all in the span of a single scene. It forces you to dig into a deep well of emotions, characteristics, and even flaws that are often concealed in everyday life. Acting demands that you embody not only the character’s most obvious traits but also their internal conflicts, their hidden vulnerabilities, and the motivations that drive both their good and bad decisions. Through the discipline of performance, I have come to understand that human behavior is multi-dimensional, and a momentary reaction or flaw cannot encapsulate the depth of an individual’s character.
Through the discipline of acting, I’ve learned to fully appreciate the richness of human behavior. A character’s outburst on stage might be driven by underlying fears, unresolved trauma, or a deep sense of love and loyalty, just as in real life. The act of portraying a complex character requires the ability to hold multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotions at once — an empathy that is vital in understanding real people beyond their surface-level actions. This is why acting goes beyond simple mimicry; it’s a deep dive into the psychology of a person, forcing you to consider how their experiences, wounds, and desires shape their behavior.
In embodying a character, you experience firsthand the tensions between their strengths and weaknesses, and it becomes clear how easily any one moment can misrepresent the whole person. It’s through these experiences on stage that I’ve learned more about the human psyche and life itself. Every role is a reminder of just how intricate and multifaceted people truly are.
Instead of focusing on isolated negative moments, we should strive to view people in their entirety. Every individual is a mix of good and bad, successes and failures, strengths and weaknesses. Reducing someone to their worst behavior strips away the complexities that make them human. This widespread practice of labeling someone based on a single aspect of their personality, or a brief period in their life, for the rest of our lives is exhausting, not only for those experiencing the bitterness, but also for those having to listen to it, sometimes daily.
Judging others too quickly — especially when they’re not around to defend themselves or explain their actions — creates a limited and often distorted view of their life. Everyone deserves the chance to be understood in context. And context is everything. What led to that moment of anger? What pressures, fears, or frustrations contributed to that poor decision? We rarely have the full story. That’s why compassion and forgiveness are so vital.
Forgiveness isn’t just for the person being judged; it’s for us too. Holding onto someone’s mistakes can prevent us from moving forward in our own lives. If we can find ways to forgive others for their mistakes, we’re also more likely to forgive ourselves when we stumble. After all, no one is immune to falling short. Every one of us has said or done things we later regret, often because we were caught in a moment of heightened emotion. If we expect others to be forgiving and understanding toward us, we must be willing to extend the same courtesy to them. By all means, walk away from a person if you have to. But, for your own sake, let it go and move on, and focus on you.
In the end, we are all learning. Life is a series of trials, errors, and lessons. Mistakes are inevitable, and they do not erase the good that a person has done or the positive impact they have had on others. By judging someone solely on their worst moments, we risk missing the full richness of who they are. Instead of narrowing our focus to their flaws, we should seek to understand the broader picture — one that includes their contributions, their growth, and their humanity. Every person is navigating their own internal battles, reacting to emotions they may not fully understand. Understanding this brings a deeper level of empathy — not only for the people around us, but for the person we see in the mirror each day.
Ultimately, life is not about avoiding mistakes but about learning from them. It’s about recognizing that everyone deserves the opportunity for growth and that the moments that define us are not our missteps but how we choose to move forward from them. By embracing this complexity in ourselves and others, we cultivate a more compassionate and insightful way of being.
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